Thursday, September 18, 2014

what does your data capacity say about you?


How much data, is too much data? I know the answer to how much too little data is and that is a measly 500MB.

I recently switch phone providers after I felt Rogers was extorting me for what I was getting the bare minimum at a soaring cost. I spent an hour of my precious time at cancelation and they offered me nothing. Okay, they offered me something, but I deferred it. Did I feel entitled to some benefit after four years, sure. I paid my phone bill on time. It was that simple. I cancelled.

FUCKKK YOU ROGERS.

My new phone plan has voice mail. I have never had a phone with voicemail before and I felt like I was in the future where Miley Cyrus quit singing and solely focused on her Dirty Hippie jewelry. My first message was from my roommate telling me inappropriate things. I learned she doesn't speak Spanish.

While I am reaping the benefit of voicemail, Canada-wide calling and the arbitrary coupons here and there, my data is miniscule. If you're ordering the large combo, I am getting the kids meal. The exchange of currency-to-features is fair, I mean, I could definitely use more data, but I'm learning to budget accordingly. The aforementioned 500MB lasted me about 20 days and I am relying on wifi where available. I'm not an important person so I'm not expecting e-mails every hour. Although, I am a little withdrawn from not opening those American Apparel mass e-mails every day.

500MB of data is for pragmatic people, like me. The FOMO's are looking at 3GB plus who are committed to editing their life via social media.

Photo: icanteachyouhowtodoit

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

praising the sweatshirt


While the discourse surrounding sweatpants has a lazy, indolent and lethargic negative connotation, its partner in crime, the sweatshirt, tells a different story. You see, the sweatshirt, with a history of comfortable leisure is a piece you can dress up to your friend's adult circumcision party or dress down to pick up some pumpkin from the field at your local orchard.

Leave it to Acne Studios to create the quintessential minimalistic sweatshirt that is both luxurious and wearable. Yes, it is expensive for something casual, but it is also affordable for something designer. You know that dictum: buy better, buy less. This applies.

As the piece is relatively casual, I suggest a crisp white shirt, raw denim and oxfords to the aforementioned mutilation fete. If that kind of party isn't on your calendar in the near future, the pumpkin picking sure is. Wear it as is with plaid trousers and white leather sneakers and you'll be baking pumpkin pie come October.

cognitive dissonance with jenna lyons



Jenna Lyons, creative director of J. Crew, mother and has cognitive dissonance in regards to sweatpants.

I want answers.

Here at Pacific Row, the mention of uncivilized sweatpants is akin to the mentioning of "he who shall not be named" and that is a unfathomable statement. While we don't talk about the aforementioned epithet, it sometimes needs to be discussed.

Leandra Medine, Man Repeller blogger with an affinity for footwear, interviewed Lyons for a swift Q&A and, that sometimes, you need a mirror to put on lipstick. Leandra asks: "sweatpants or sweating?" Lyons responds to a stern, made my mind up eons ago, with a "neither."

Interesting.

I was confounded by how she responded because of the pleathora of these items on the J. Crew website. There are a total of 11 sweatpants, not including sweatshorts, with an average price of $100. If you are "neither", Lyons, remove the sweatpants from your roster because cognitive dissonance leads to sadness and things. Don't fret, there's an approach called dissonance reduction.

Essentially, burn them all!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

saeed jones gets the hello mr cover treatment


Say hello to Saeed Jones, editor of BuzzFeedLGBT, writer and the new cover star of Hello Mr.'s fourth issue I like to call: look at that hype nose ring! While gingham seems to be trending for NYFW, I am championing nose rings or even something more deviant, the septum piercing.

Um, isn't this a homosexual hipster magazine and therefore shouldn't his shirt be buttoned all the way to the collar. Okay, I didn't mean to pigeonhole the PBR subculture, but if I button my shirt all the way near my Adam's apple, then Jones should be too, right?

My qualm and I know there has only been four issues, but why does Mr. Jones, a person of colour, get the black and white treatment? The last three issues, predominantly graced with white men on the cover, were treated to colour and other things associated with colour, like FFEEEEEELLLIINGGGGGSSSS.

I'll have to pick up the issue at the local Easy Tiger Goods and survey the magazine, putting that sociology degree to practice.

Photo: Hello Mr.

Monday, September 8, 2014

caption this: when in bushwick


All the great parties are happening in Bushwick and this is just an innocuous indication that gentrification is happening or just, simply, where all the weirdos like to hang. Looking at you Zosia Mamet.

There's nothing innocuous about gentrification. I had a man call me out for buying a $50 vintage ladder in Parkdale and for your information, I bartered it down to $45.

Alexander Wang, master of sportswear, who's s/s '15 collection was inspired by speed and swiftness, was photographed here with pasties wearer Miley Cyrus. Together, they read mean tweets about themselves while Ladyfag does her thing. Really, though, what are you two reading?

Caption this.

Photo: TheCut

Saturday, September 6, 2014

cooking eggs with hannibal buress



It's Saturday morning and all I want to do at this very moment is skim through Style.com for fashion week updates and weep about how I can't see Imran Amed today of Business of Fashion. My schedule doesn't allow me to be in his presence so, ahem.

There's two options on how I could start my morning right now. 1. I could go down one floor to the kitchen and eat some eggs and home fries that my roommate just freshly made, or 2. I could stay in bed and watch Broad City's Hannibal Buress teach us how to cook eggs on my bed. Yum, phantom eggs.

Are we going to talk about how his character Lincoln feels objectified because all Ilana wants is sex?

No? Enjoy your fucking weekend.

He doesn't know how to cook eggs and you are not living life until you add the ARUGULA!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

male models, where are they?


The convoluted weather of September douses us with sweltering afternoons and sweater weather nights and around that proverbial sartorial corner is: September issues. With more interests than ever, models are gracing the covers of fashion magazines like they did in the zeitgeist of Supermodel stardom of the 90's.

There's a charge of "Instagirls" on Vogue US, a plethora of veterans on Vogue Italia, Vogue Japan is celebrating icons, Daria Werbowy lands two solo covers at WSJ Journal and Interview and Kate Moss has four different covers for Another Magazine.

Why are you making me choose Another? Why?

There's this discourse about the celebration of female models and that's extraordinary, but in an industry dominated by women, where are the male models? London model Charlie Ayres Taylor lands the cover of 10 Magazine looking cozy as fuck, highest-paid male model Sean O'Pry only has one cover and is sharing it with Emily DiDonato on V Magazine and Calvin Klein model Matthew Terry blessed with society's standard of physical beauty also shares a cover with another model on V Magazine and is also on Dansk by his lonesome brooding self with three cover options with different models.

Where is Clement Chabernaud, Jon Kortajarena or Armando Cabral?

I never pictured Terry to be modeling for the high fashion variety. He always seemed normal to me in those Calvin Klein ads, which are pretty commercial. Then he appeared on my favourite fashion magazine, Dansk, and I asked myself, is Matthew Terry high fashion? He's gracing the confidence issue and his testament to the cause is that Terry is, confident. He's sporting a contrasting collared shirt, slicked back hair and a brooding disposition only synonymous with a Gareth Pugh collection.

He's championing for male models everywhere with confidence.

Photo: Dansk Magazine